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If thou must love me, let it be for nought Except for love's sake only. Do not say 'I love her for her smile -her look -her way Of speaking gently,-for a trick of thought That falls in well with mine, and certes brought A sense of pleasant ease on such a day' - For these things in themselves, Beloved, may Be changed, or change for thee,-and love, so wrought, May be unwrought so. Neither love me for Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,- A creature might forget to weep, who bore Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby! But love me for love's sake, that evermore Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity'.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning#18

LoveAuthenticityRelationship

About this quote

What does it mean?
Love should be unconditional and based on existence alone, not transient qualities or pity.
In plain terms
Love me for who I am, not for my looks or your pity.
What can you take from it?
True love accepts the person without conditions.

Where it applies

  • romantic relationships
  • personal vows

Putting it to work

  • express unconditional love
  • avoid conditional affection

Questions to consider

  • What conditions do you place on love?
  • Can love exist without reasons?

Another view

Expecting pure love can ignore human need for external validation.

More from Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  1. Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand Henceforward in thy shadow.

    Permalink to quote #17
  2. When our two souls stand up erect and strong, Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher, Until the lengthening wings break into fire At either curved point…

    Permalink to quote #19
  3. Hush, call no echo up in further proof Of desolation! there's a voice within That weeps . . . as thou must sing . . . alone, aloof.

    Permalink to quote #16

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