More from Ellen DeGeneres

  1. With all of our differences, we [members of the audience] all have one thing in common, we're all gay. Now there are people out there [in a…
  2. Let's say, for instance, I'm out of cheese. And then I'll think, oh, but what if I go to the store and they're out of cheese? I'd be like, …
  3. I have a terrible problem with procrastination... a friend told me, 'Well, you should go to therapy. And I thought about it, but then I sai…
  4. What could be going so wrong that they need to check on you that often....'My bra's in my ass!!'....'Rachel' (mouths pointing to her ass 'M…
  5. Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing ... chances are, if you need both of your h…
  6. In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a wh…
  7. Yes, we're lazy. Yet we also can't seem to sit still. So we've started making things like GO-GURT. That's yogurt for people on the go. Let …
  8. It must be so humiliating to have such a public break-up.

All Ellen DeGeneres quotes