I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, 'I don't know... reelection to the Senate?' (a reference to the Chappaquiddick incident)

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye... and dragged it fifteen feet.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, 'Why limit yourselves?'

We're the only branch of government that explains itself in writing every time it makes a decision.

The First Amendment and Fourteenth Amendment rights in the United States Constitution were being violated in Albany again and again - freedom of speech, freedo…

'Judge Kennon has perfectly good ears. He can stand in a courthouse in Opelousas and hear a dollar bill drop in Ville Platte.'