Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

No self respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Let my mother be.

You know, when you have a father who's pretty well known but you don't see him, the last thing you want to do is start talking about him all the time to people.

I am glad you are no relation of mine. I will never call you aunt as long as I live. I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and if any asks me how I …