Erma Bombeck Quotes on Family
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A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with the outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.
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Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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No self respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and says he's doing nothing, but the dog is barking, call 911.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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Youngsters of the age of two or three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.