13 Erma Bombeck Quotes on Family

Erma Bombeck quotes on family

1. A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with the outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

4. All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.

12. Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

16. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

21. I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.

33. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

34. No self respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

36. One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

46. When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and says he's doing nothing, but the dog is barking, call 911.

50. When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

51. Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

52. Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

53. Youngsters of the age of two or three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.