It is very well to say 'be prudent, be careful, try to know each other.' But how are you to know each other? Unless a woman had lost all pride, how is it possible for her, under the eyes of all her family, to indulge in long exclusive conversations with a man? 'Such a thing' must not take place till after her 'engagement.' And how is she to make an engagement, if 'such a thing' has not taken place?
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- Society prevents women from knowing men through honest conversation before engagement, creating a paradox in courtship.
- In plain terms
- Women cannot get to know men well before engagement because rules forbid private conversations.
- What can you take from it?
- Allow genuine conversation before engagement to make informed choices in relationships.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- Do current norms hinder honest connection?
- How do you know a partner before committing?
Another view
Some norms exist to protect reputation and family honor.
More from Florence Nightingale
Men and women meet now to be idle. Is it extraordinary that they do not know each other, and that, in their mutual ignorance, they form no surer friendships? D…
Permalink to quote #44 A girl, if she has any pride, is so ashamed of having anything she wishes to say out of the hearing of her own family, she thinks it must be something so very …
Permalink to quote #46 Religious men are and must be heretics now - for we must not pray, except in a 'form' of words, made beforehand - or think of God but with a prearranged idea.
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