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Men and women meet now to be idle. Is it extraordinary that they do not know each other, and that, in their mutual ignorance, they form no surer friendships? Did they meet to do something together, then indeed they might form some real tie. But, as it is, they are not there, it is only a mask which is there - a mouth-piece of ready-made sentences about the 'topics of the day'; and then people rail against men for choosing a woman 'for her face' - why, what else do they see?

Florence Nightingale#44

ConversationWorkAuthenticityFriendshipSocial interactionSocializing

About this quote

What does it mean?
Nightingale criticizes idle social gatherings where people mask their true selves, suggesting real friendships form through shared work.
In plain terms
Idleness creates fake friendships while shared work builds real ones.
What can you take from it?
Build real connections through shared activities not idle chat.

Where it applies

  • social gatherings
  • dating

Putting it to work

  • engage in shared work
  • avoid superficial talk

Questions to consider

  • What builds real friendship?
  • How do you connect with others?

Another view

It dismisses casual social interaction as useless.

More from Florence Nightingale

  1. Religious men are and must be heretics now - for we must not pray, except in a 'form' of words, made beforehand - or think of God but with a prearranged idea.

    Permalink to quote #43
  2. It is very well to say 'be prudent, be careful, try to know each other.' But how are you to know each other? Unless a woman had lost all pride, how is it possi…

    Permalink to quote #45
  3. Look round at the marriages which you know. The true marriage - that noble union, by which a man and woman become together the one perfect being - probably doe…

    Permalink to quote #42

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