Quote #25

'Before the invention of the telephone, you had to lie to people to their face!'

More from Gallagher

  1. 'Wonder why it is God didn't give us wheels. He must've known we get skates for Christmas.'
  2. 'Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?'
  3. 'I would like now to talk briefly about the Japanese, a race of very short people who are always bending in half. You can't make an honest …
  4. 'Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is girls; bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls' and 'bullboys.''
  5. 'If it ain't sex, what is it gang? Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer! You ain't an American unless you're drinking a beer! All the time, d…
  6. 'When yogurt goes bad, how can you tell?'
  7. 'My daughter's gettin' so big lately, I usually don't have to duck when I get in the van. Well my heart was in the right place. I said, 'Am…
  8. 'Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.'

All Gallagher quotes