Quote #24

'Wonder why it is God didn't give us wheels. He must've known we get skates for Christmas.'

More from Gallagher

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  2. 'Before the invention of the telephone, you had to lie to people to their face!'
  3. 'If it ain't sex, what is it gang? Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer! You ain't an American unless you're drinking a beer! All the time, d…
  4. 'Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?'
  5. 'My daughter's gettin' so big lately, I usually don't have to duck when I get in the van. Well my heart was in the right place. I said, 'Am…
  6. 'Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is girls; bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls' and 'bullboys.''
  7. 'Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.'
  8. 'When yogurt goes bad, how can you tell?'

All Gallagher quotes