Quote #3
'Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; them around you that ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes.'
More from Gallagher
- 'Sledge-O-Matic removes unwanted fingerprints from walls. Sledge-O-Matic also removes unwanted walls from fingerprints.'
- ' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put …
- 'LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I did not come here tonight to make you laugh! I came here to sell you something! And I want ya to pay particular at…
- 'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'
- 'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'
- 'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'
- 'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
- 'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'