'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'

'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'

'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'

' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put the dot, right there…