Quote #6

'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'

More from Gallagher

  1. 'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'
  2. 'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'
  3. ' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put …
  4. 'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
  5. 'Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; them around you that ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes.'
  6. 'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'
  7. 'Sledge-O-Matic removes unwanted fingerprints from walls. Sledge-O-Matic also removes unwanted walls from fingerprints.'
  8. 'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'

All Gallagher quotes