'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'

' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put the dot, right there…

'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'

'Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; them around you that ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes.'