Quote #5

'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'

More from Gallagher

  1. ' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put …
  2. 'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'
  3. 'Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; them around you that ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes.'
  4. 'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'
  5. 'Sledge-O-Matic removes unwanted fingerprints from walls. Sledge-O-Matic also removes unwanted walls from fingerprints.'
  6. 'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
  7. 'LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I did not come here tonight to make you laugh! I came here to sell you something! And I want ya to pay particular at…
  8. 'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'

All Gallagher quotes