Quote #8
'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
More from Gallagher
- 'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'
- 'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'
- 'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'
- 'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'
- 'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'
- 'Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the he…
- ' 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put …
- 'Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting…