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Quote #9
'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'
More from Gallagher
'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'
'People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.'
'Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the he…
'I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?'
'Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting…
'Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?'
'You ever see that sign: 'This Door Must Remain Shut At All Times'... why have a goddamn door?'
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