'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'

'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'

'Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard and come bac…

'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'