'Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee, Nadia, that was PERFECT! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!''

'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'

'Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out…

'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'