Quote #12

'Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out of his head!'

More from Gallagher

  1. 'Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the he…
  2. 'You ever see that sign: 'This Door Must Remain Shut At All Times'... why have a goddamn door?'
  3. 'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'
  4. 'You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on top of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet and you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or,…
  5. 'They ought to make butt-flavored cat food.'
  6. 'If M & M's 'melt in your mouth, not in your hand.' what would they do, say... under your armpit?'
  7. 'Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad! (removes hat to display bald head)'
  8. 'If nothing sticks to Teflon, what makes it stick to the pan?'

All Gallagher quotes