More from Garrison Keillor

  1. I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
  2. Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.
  3. (on sweet corn and sex) I love sweet corn. It truly is better than sex! I'm not lying! All across the Midwest tonight, a husband and wife w…
  4. It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear…
  5. I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
  6. 'Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth…
  7. Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  8. Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what…

All Garrison Keillor quotes