More from George Carlin

  1. In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
  2. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conser…
  3. Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lo…
  4. I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave …
  5. This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be free. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So th…
  6. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.
  7. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
  8. Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

All George Carlin quotes