The first words I ever heard the alcohol rehab counselor say were 'Good morning, assholes!' With that, I liked him right away.

Jim Morrison was a well-built boy, larger than average, and young enough to maintain the engorged silent connection right through the residue of chemicals.

The wiser you get on the inside, the uglier you get on the outside. The world's great gurus have beautiful things to say but they generally look like shit.

I've enjoyed the accommodations offered by police departments from Florida to Hawaii. Any time I saw a badge, something in me would snap.

I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.

I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves: I try to portray the similarities and polaritie…

I have a terrible problem with procrastination... a friend told me, 'Well, you should go to therapy. And I thought about it, but then I said, 'Wait a minute. W…