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Groucho Marx
Quote #99
That kid's so smart, he could be the fifth Marx Brother.
More from Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
The only game I like to play is Old Maid - provided she's not too old.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made.
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
There is only one way to find out if a man is honest...ask him. If he says 'yes', you know he is crooked.
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