Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. 'Harpo my boy,' he said, 'I'm going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should always remember.' My heart jumped and I glowed with expectation. I was going to hear the magic password to a rich, full life from the master himself. 'Yes sir?' I said. And he told me the three things. I regret that I've forgotten what they were.

Susan, an only child who never had any roots, and I, a lone wolf who got married 20 years too late, were adopted by the kids as much as they were by us.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

Like the East Side tenement, our house was seldom without the sound of music or laughter or questions being asked or stories being told.

Eat in the dark the bargain that you purchased in the dusk.

A buzzard took the monkey for a ride in the air The monkey thought that everything was on the square The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off his back But the…

Thinking we were safe-insanity! We went in to make love. All the same Idiots to trust the little hotel bedroom. Then in the gloom... ...And who does not know t…