230 Advice Quotes

If I would follow your advice and Jesus could perceive it, he, as a Jewish teacher, surely would not approve of such behavior.

A lot of girls ask for advice on how to get into acting, and I'm kind of the worst person to ask, because it just kind of fell in my lap... I was just in the right place at the right time.

Don't take too seriously all that the neighbors say. Don't be overawed by what the experts say. Don't be afraid to trust your own common sense.

It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.

As you get older you will gain a bit more control over everything. Don't let anyone, even your parents, break you. Find good people who care about you and surround yourself with just them. If you can't find them at first, find good music and fall into it, let it hold you until they come. I truly hope you enjoy the new record.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

Don't give your opinions about Art and the Purpose of Life. They are of little interest and, anyway, you can't express them. Don't analyze yourself. Give the relevant facts and let your readers make their own judgments. Stick to your story. It is not the most important subject in history but it is one about which you are uniquely qualified to speak.

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.

If people take any notice of what we say, we say we've been through the drug scene, man, and there's nothing like being straight.

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

They're fancy talkers about themselves, writers. If I had to give young writers advice, I would say don't listen to writers talking about writing or themselves.

Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is not a man or woman alive who does not claim to know how to cure hiccoughs.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.

Don't be negative. It shows on your face.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

We give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain.

It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

After all, there's only one aswer to be made to the young fellow who is asking constantly for advice as to how to hit. The answer is: 'Pick out a good one and sock it!'

Actually, I was having dinner with Michael (Stipe, of R.E.M.) when our second album went platinum, which up until that point was the highest success we'd ever had. And he turned to me during dinner and said, 'Welcome to the deep waters, kid.' I'll never forget that.

'Never,' said my aunt, 'be mean in anything; never be false; never be cruel. Avoid those three vices, Trot, and I can always be hopeful of you.'

I don't give advice. I can't tell anybody what to do. Instead I say this is what we know about this problem at this time. And here are the consequences of these actions.

The first time that I appeared on stage, it scared me to death. I really didn't know what all the yelling was about. I didn't realize that my body was moving. It's a natural thing to me. So to the manager backstage I said, 'What'd I do? What'd I do?' And he said, 'Whatever it is, go back and do it again.'

'Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.'

If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role.

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off.' You've got to quit, cold jerky!

Isolation is the worst possible counselor.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

Nobody tells me fuck all!

If I had to start it all over again, the only thing I would change is I'd learn to read a contract better.

He's engaged to be married to Stiffy Byng, and his long years of football should prove an excellent preparation for setting up house with her. The way I look at it is that when a fellow has had plug-uglies in cleated boots doing a Shuffle-off-to-Buffalo on his face Saturday after Saturday since he was a slip of a boy, he must get to fear nothing, not even marriage with a girl like Stiffy, who from early childhood has seldom let the sun go down without starting some loony enterprise calculated to bleach the hair of one and all.

Many receive advice, few profit by it.

When asked, 'Should I tell my mother I'm gay?' I answer, 'Never tell your mother anything.'

Well, the old theory was 'marry a older man because they're more mature'. But the new theory is 'men don't mature - marry a young one'.

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Most of our pocket wisdom is conceived for the use of mediocre people, to discourage them from ambitious attempts, and generally console them in their mediocrity. And since mediocre people constitute the bulk of humanity, this is no doubt very properly so.

Good morning, Mr. Greenspan. I understand that you did not take my friendly advice last fall. I thought maybe you should look for other employment, but I see you have kept your job.

Some things it don't pay to be curious about.

The corollary is that no writer will take all of his or her editor's advice; for all have sinned and fallen short of editorial perfection. Put another way, to write is human, to edit is divine.

If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.

'Is that wise, darling? Remember you have to reign all afternoon.'

'It's alright to say 'bitch' and 'motherfucker' on the corner, but when you start operating on a different level you can't talk like that. Fine, you're trying to get some street acceptance. Now that you got that, get back to your roots. You know that's not where you came from. You know that's not how you were raised.' - Ray West (Kanye's father) on Rolling Stone magazine

Richard II