Quote #36

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. My family was a bunch of drunks, when I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
  2. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  3. Life is just a bowl of pits.
  4. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  5. Last night I was making love to my wife and nothing was happening, so I said to her, What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?
  6. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go…
  7. It's not easy being me. When I was born the doctor told my mother, 'I did all I could, but he pulled through anyway.'
  8. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.

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