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Marriage is like a war. There are moments of chivalry and gallantry that attend the victorious advances and strategic retreats, the birth or death of children, the momentary conquest of loneliness, the sacrifice that ennobles him who makes it. But mostly there are the long dull sieges, the waiting, the terror and boredom. Women understand this better than men; they are better able to survive attrition.

Helen Hayes#13

EnduranceGenderLoveMarriage

About this quote

What does it mean?
Marriage has moments of glory but mostly involves long periods of hardship, waiting, and boredom that women must endure.
In plain terms
Marriage has some good moments but is mostly hard and boring and women handle it better.
What can you take from it?
Expect long periods of effort in marriage, not just romantic highs.

Where it applies

  • marriage
  • relationship advice
  • gender roles

Putting it to work

  • prepare for long term work
  • value sacrifice
  • manage expectations

Questions to consider

  • What endurance does love require?
  • How do you handle boredom in relationships?

Another view

This view assumes a traditional gendered dynamic in marriage.

More from Helen Hayes

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  2. Stardom can be a gilded slavery.

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  3. The old-fashioned idea that the simple piling up of experiences, one on top of another, can make you an artist, is, of course, so much rubbish. If acting were …

    Permalink to quote #11

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