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Everyone wants rather to be pleasing to women and that desire is not altogether, though it is very largely, a manifestation of vanity. But one cannot aim to be pleasing to women any more than one can aim to have taste, or beauty of expression, or happiness; for these things are not specific aims which one may learn to attain; they are descriptions of the adequacy of one's living. To try to be happy is to try to build a machine with no other specification than that it shall run noiselessly.

J. Robert Oppenheimer#11

CharacterHappinessLifePurposeVanity

About this quote

What does it mean?
Happiness and beauty are byproducts of a well-lived life, not direct goals. Trying to force them is like building a machine just to run noiselessly.
In plain terms
You cannot aim directly at happiness or beauty; they come from living well.
What can you take from it?
Meaningful outcomes are often side effects of focused living.

Where it applies

  • personal growth
  • artistic pursuit
  • life philosophy

Putting it to work

  • focus on substance
  • avoid superficial aims

Questions to consider

  • Can you define a life that is adequate without aiming at happiness?
  • Is vanity always a bad motive?

Another view

It may discourage setting clear goals for personal well-being.

More from J. Robert Oppenheimer

  1. It is perfectly obvious that the whole world is going to hell. The only possible chance that it might not is that we do not attempt to prevent it from doing so.

    Permalink to quote #10
  2. The general notions about human understanding: which are illustrated by discoveries in atomic physics are not in the nature of things wholly unfamiliar, wholly…

    Permalink to quote #12
  3. When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and argue about what to do about it only after you've had your technical success. That…

    Permalink to quote #9

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