When Jack Benny walks out in tails in front of ninety great musicians, he looks like the world's greatest violinist. It's a shame he has to play. ~ Isaac Stern

He is so anemic that if he stays out at night, he has to get a transfusion so his eyes will be bloodshot in the morning. ~ Fred Allen

(when asked how well her father played the violin) Well, let me put it this way. He doesn't play as well as Jascha Heifetz - but then, who does? ~ Joan Benny

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are back in the cat. ~ Fred Allen

'He shows up, he looks shitty, he's got junk equipment, he looks like he's just got up and I want to punch him, and then Aaron starts playing and on the first …

'There are some men who are considered quite ugly, but who are more remarkable than pretty people. You often see that in artists.'

There's something about blonds that triggers a lightheartedness. People can't take you seriously. Brunettes are more mysterious.