Quote #60
I'll never forget the time I tried Cocaine. Horrible experience. Of course, I was on Acid at the time... (Monologue from his Saturday Night Live appearance)
More from Jacob Cohen
- Every time I get into an elevator, the operator says the same thing: 'Basement?'
- (Describing his son-in-law's family) The family's so ugly, in the photo album, they keep the negatives!
- You kiddin'? I know I'm ugly...last year at Halloween when I opened the door, kids gave me candy. Some little kid tried to pull my face off…
- One day I was driving home and saw a guy jogging naked. I asked why, he said, ''Cause you came home early!'
- Don't worry honey, I didn't see a thing...you're perfect!
- I love three girls at once...if I fall asleep, they got each other to talk to.
- I don't play hard to get... I play hard to want!
- I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born.