The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.

Every time is a time for comedy in a world of tension that would languish without it. But I cannot confine myself to lightness in a period of human life that d…

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

What good men most biologists are, the tenors of the scientific world-temperamental, moody, lecherous, loud-laughing, and healthy. Your true biologist will sin…

I know at last what distinguishes man from animals; financial worries.