Hell, when I was in high school, a 'drive-by shooting' meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're g…

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, …

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... …