Though doing no wrong to any one, a person may so act as to compel us to judge him, and feel to him, as a fool, or as a being of an inferior order: and since this judgment and feeling are a fact which he would prefer to avoid, it is doing him a service to warn him of it beforehand, as of any other disagreeable consequence to which he exposes himself. It would be well, indeed, if this good office were much more freely rendered than the common notions of politeness at present permit, and if one person could honestly point out to another that he thinks him in fault, without being considered unmannerly or presuming. (p. 95)
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- People may not break laws but can still behave foolishly; honest feedback on such behavior is a service, not rudeness.
- In plain terms
- You can act like a fool without breaking laws; friends should warn you honestly.
- What can you take from it?
- Give honest feedback to prevent foolish actions.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- Would I welcome this feedback?
- Am I judging or trying to help?
Another view
Unsolicited advice can easily feel like judgment.
More from John Stuart Mill
In this age, the mere example of non-conformity, the mere refusal to bend the knee to custom, is itself a service. Precisely because the tyranny of opinion is …
Permalink to quote #43 We have a right, also, in various ways, to act upon our unfavourable opinion of any one, not to the oppression of his individuality, but in the exercise of our…
Permalink to quote #45 It will probably be conceded that it is desirable people should exercise their understandings, and that an intelligent following of custom, or even occasionall…
Permalink to quote #42
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