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Jon Stewart
Quote #23
No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
More from Jon Stewart
You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
They said I wasn't being funny. And I said to them, 'I know that, but tomorrow I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow…
[To Tucker Carlson] How old are you? [Carlson:] Thirty-five. [Stewart:] And you wear a bow tie... So this is theater... Now, listen, I'm no…
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, 'We're going to make a k…
You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square... It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walkin…
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