QuotesBy.net
Home
›
Authors
›
J
›
Jon Stewart
Quote #71
It's like putting Captain Ahab in charge of save the whales.
More from Jon Stewart
I'm 145 pounds of asthma.
What was God thinking in putting all his holy sites in one area? Like two blocks from each other. Is the idea for God ... He just put it in…
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president...' and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'
Clearly, I like to poke fun.
I love watching the White House press conferences; they're very enjoyable. I love watching talented journalists who spent their entire live…
My boss is like, if you took Willy Wonka, and mixed him with Hitler. He's got like, he's crazy like Willie Wonka and he's psycho like Hitle…
I fought the law and the law lost!
Has your boss ever poured scalding hot Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger on to your arm?...It doesn't just burn, OK?, it's also citrus, and…
All Jon Stewart quotes
← Jon Postel
All J authors
Jonah Goldberg →