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How ironic the difference between me and my young son Absalom, between his soliciting the soundest means of overtaking me and having my life, while I was cudgeling my brains for a way to spare his. 'Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom,' were my mawkish words to my commanders as their men trooped past me toward the positions they would take up in the field outside the wood of Ephraim for the battle in which he would die. 'Beware that none touch the young man Absalom,' I urged like a fool. No, not like a fool, but like a fond, doting father who will overlook and excuse everything in the child he loves best, and who breaks his heart. And in that singular disparity in our desires abides his lasting victory over me: I loved him and he did not love me.

Joseph Heller#53

WarLoveFamily

About this quote

What does it mean?
A father loves his son despite the son seeking his death in battle.
In plain terms
A father wants to save his son even if his son wants to kill him.
What can you take from it?
Parental love persists even in betrayal.

Where it applies

  • family disputes
  • war zones
  • parenting challenges

Putting it to work

  • forgive children
  • seek peace
  • love unconditionally

Questions to consider

  • When do you forgive family?
  • Is love enough to stop conflict?

Another view

This assumes love should always override danger.

More from Joseph Heller

  1. Now THERE'S a hollow state to be in, isn't it- to believe in God and get no sign that He's there.

    Permalink to quote #52
  2. Everybody is as unstable as water.

    Permalink to quote #54
  3. He who steals my purse steals trash, but he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him, and makes me poor indeed.

    Permalink to quote #51

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