Kevin James Quotes

Kevin James offers candid, humorous takes that cut through hype and reveal personal insight.

16 quotes

1. I'm not a gay man, but I will say this: I get it now. I know what all the hype is about.

2. How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. You walk in, 'Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh, my God! Yeah, I'll take the bean bag chair with raisins. Wooh! Yeah! Alright, can't believe this is fat-free! Hey, you wanna help me out to the trunk of my car? No, leave the Saran Wrap on it I'll use it to cover my pool, this is good.'

3. When you're big you don't need a reason to sweat. You don't, right? My friends cannot grab a hold of this concept. They come up to me all the time 'Jeez... what have you been doing. You been jumping rope in the attic or something?'...'... Well, I peeled an orange.. About an hour ago, why?'

4. This guy had no idea what phone number rhythm was, and that pissed me off. Especially if an area code's involved, like: Two One Two, bah bah bah, bah bah, bah bah. That is the rhythm I think we're all familiar with. This guy had no idea at all, I was like 'Okay, Hank, give me the number' 'Aright it's two one two nine' [pulls away from phone in disbelief] [Puts phone back to ear] 'Fifteen eight eleven six-four-t-t-five-f-f-seven....two..' [pulls back again in disbelief] [Puts phone up to ear again] 'Did you throw in your zip code, I've got a lot of extra numbers over here, I almost have enough to make a new number, I have extra, What d'ya got!? Start again from the top!

5. I think I invented the phrase 'Don't overdo it.'

6. My fitness goals are different than most peoples. Most people want to lose enough weight so they look good in a bathing suit or they want to lower their cholesterol. I just want to lose enough so my stomach doesn't jiggle when I brush my teeth.

7. I've always been the guy who doesn't necessarily get it with women. A woman would have to say, 'I like you, I want to go out with you, you can ask me.' And still I would question it. Did she mean it?

8. You think school ends when it ends, but it doesn't.

9. Every time I do a movie where it gets physical, I say never again.

10. There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

11. To give all you have of yourself & be faithful, only to end up feeling it wasnt worth it because that someone turned out to be a anybody & everybody kind of person is a harsh reality that we all have to face.

12. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

13. I really wasn't a class clown.

14. If I do a movie where I have to have a son and it's a chubby kid, my mother is always like, 'You were never like that.' She gets so upset about it.

15. My favorite movie of all time is 'Rocky.'

16. I know De Niro, you know, it's all famous that he packed on 60 pounds for Raging Bull, but ah, he just did it for one movie, I do that for every movie.