I think extreme heterosexuality is a perversion.

I must admit that I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.

I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.

I learned the value of hard work by working hard.

I hate the whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. It's such bull. You see these dudes greased up, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex …

At 13 you whack off 19 times a day anyway. Imagine being on a Viagra and like a liter of Mountain Dew and home alone with the VCR on a snow day from school. Hi…

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.