I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

I have found solace in profanity unexcelled even by prayer.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. …

I am gone into the fields To take what this sweet hour yields; - Reflection, you may come to-morrow, Sit by the fireside with Sorrow. - You with the unpaid bil…

I'm not scared of dying And I, don't really care If it' s peace you find in dying Well then, let the time be near.