The most perfect caricature is that which, on a small surface, with the simplest means, most accurately exaggerates, to the highest point, the peculiarities of a human being, at his most characteristic moment in the most beautiful manner.

I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.

As a teacher, as a propagandist, Shaw is no good at all, even in his own generation. But as a personality, he is immortal.

To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.

Self-portraiture is something one should never get involved in, since it is wrong to lie even though one endeavours to tell the truth.

Satire should, like a polished razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.

Ooh, look at me, I'm Dave, I'm writing a book! With all my thought in it. La la la!