(When asked who does his laundry) Me, I'm afraid. Every Friday night you'll find me leaning over the bathtub, immersed in Persil... It's quite passionately romantic leaning over the bath, scrubbing one's shirts. (1985)

(On Craig Gannon suing him) My opinion is that Craig Gannon didn't really win because... he's still Craig Gannon. (1990)

That was the problem with the 'celibate' word because they don't consider for a moment that you'd rather not be, but you just are. I was never a sexual person.

I'm not very good at being dull. (1988)