When I wrote an ineffectual line such as 'I was looking for a job/ And then I found a job/And Heaven knows I'm miserable now', that outraged people (which pleased me).

Robert Smith is a whingebag. (1984)

If I had stood in the middle of a Manchester housing estate and announced, 'I'm celibate', I probably would have been shot.

(On mobile phones) I hate the way they ring, and when I see people use them in public I feel repulsed by that. I find it such an invasion. And also, I don't wa…