Skip to content
quotesby

What I am seeing right now is a man who is so dominated by his mother that he is willing to throw away his marriage in order to protect her from the trauma of growing up and acting like an adult. So please do keep on shielding her from any chance of ever becoming a mature, productive, empathic human being... I knew that was a facet of your life when I married you. But don't you dare to accuse me of being envious of the sickness that you call motherlove.

Orson Scott Card#707

GrowthFamilyPsychologyBoundariesMaturity

About this quote

What does it mean?
Protecting a parent from the realities of life prevents them from maturing and living fully.
In plain terms
Shielding someone from responsibility stops them from growing up.
What can you take from it?
Let parents face consequences to become mature.

Where it applies

  • adult children with parents
  • caregiving
  • family therapy

Putting it to work

  • encourage independence
  • stop enabling
  • set limits

Questions to consider

  • Are you enabling someone?
  • How do you encourage growth?

Another view

Some parents may always need protection.

More from Orson Scott Card

  1. You took sides!' So did you. The difference is that I sided with a man who was asking nothing more than to live with dignity... And you were siding with a woma…

    Permalink to quote #706
  2. No one had known him. No one knows me. No one knows who I am or what I can do.

    Permalink to quote #708
  3. Wishes are a waste of time... They only make you unhappy

    Permalink to quote #705

Related quotes

  1. Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to ad…

    C. S. LewisC. S. Lewis quote #6
  2. I'm very mature for my age, but I'm also innocent in a lot of ways. I'm complicated.

    Kirsten DunstKirsten Dunst quote #22
  3. 'He who matures early lives in anticipation.'

    Theodor AdornoTheodor Adorno quote #35