[of Spode] He was, as I had already been able to perceive, a breath-taking cove. About seven feet in height, and swathed in a plaid ulster which made him look about six feet across, he caught the eye and arrested it. It was as if Nature had intended to make a gorilla and had changed its mind at the last moment.

Aunt Agatha, who eats broken bottles and wears barbed wire next to the skin.

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

'He's (Jose Canseco) built like a Greek goddess.'

An immensely tall, angular figure ... His gown hung round him in long folds like the wings of a bat, and his wig was perched slightly askew over a lantern jawe…

The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say `When!'