His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.

To say that his conscience was clear would be inaccurate, for he did not have a conscience, but he had what was much better, an alibi...

'You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.'

As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at o…

Look at that magic marker. What, you think that's some kind of crayon?! Take the cap off, sniff it, and get high!

Giving me a new idea is like handing a cretin a loaded gun, but I do thank you anyhow, bang, bang.

Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're trying to circumsize yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so. Unless you're opening an…