It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

There is about him something that seems to soothe and hypnotize. To the best of my knowledge, he has never encountered a charging rhinoceros, but should this c…

A sort of gulpy, gurgly, plobby, squishy, wofflesome sound, like a thousand eager men drinking soup in a foreign restaurant.

I charged into something which might have been a tree, but was not--being, in point of fact, Jeeves.

If you hijack an airplane and fly it into a building, you Islam! If you bow your head to the carpet five times a day with your ass up in the air, like Paul Ank…

Basically, the Germans came to us and said, 'We don't have a sense of humour.'

On the Aussie Weakest Link it's not 'You are the weakest link, goodbye', it's more 'You are the weakest link...See ya later.' 'Cos from what I can tell, it sum…