Quote #371

So, look. Phil, I wanted to mention to your listeners that Bill Jewison is innocent of manslaughter. He's my client and I will be trying the case next week in Superior Court, but I'm trying to pollute the jury pool, so, uh...

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  1. I say to any senior citizen listening to me, carry a 9mm, the minute somebody looks at you cross-eyed, take off the top of his head with it.
  2. And also our winner tonight will get an autographed copy of my autobiography, which has just been released, entitled The Joy of Gunning Dow…
  3. Christ was riveted to the cross for this???
  4. My mother won't have sex with me.
  5. Oh, in the Name of the Sweet Christ Hammered Up, why do you have to play that?
  6. Is there anything worse than a woman with a kid?
  7. Don't say it or I will drop you and I don't care if I go to prison.
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