I'll come no more behind your scenes, David [Garrick]; for the silk stockings and white bosoms of your actresses excite my amorous propensities.

Tom Birch is as brisk as a bee in conversation; but no sooner does he take a pen in his hand than it becomes a torpedo to him, and benumbs all his faculties.

A man may write at any time, if he will set himself doggedly to it.

I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, an…

'So, do you live around here often?'

'I would, but I'm going to be busy all day converting beer into pee.'

Then Madam I suggest you have her dry cleaned.