Mother always told me, if you tell a lie, always rehearse it. If it don't sound good to you, it won't sound good to no one else.

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.

My feet ain't got nothing to do with my nickname, but when folks get it in their heads that a feller's got big feet, soon the feet start looking big.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

Let us not foist this humbug on the world.