'I'm sorry' I say for the 1 billionth time, 'passwords are encrypted on the system, and it's far easier for me to change your password than to find out what it is.' (Which is crap; I know what it is, the password changing routine does have a slight in-house modification which the implementers probably weren't counting on.)

It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BOFH, however, does have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device-it's so much more economical…

'Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain ??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, …

'Life's not fair, but the root password helps.'