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When Sartre and I met not only did our backgrounds fuse, but also our solidity, our individual conviction that we were what we were made to be. In that framework we could not become rivals. Then, as the relationship between Sartre and me grew, I became convinced that I was irreplaceable in his life, and he in mine. In other words, we were totally secure in the knowledge that our relationship was also totally solid, again preordained, though, of course, we would have laughed at that word then. When you have such security it's easy not to be jealous. But had I thought that another woman played the same role as I did in Sartre's life, of course, I would have been jealous.

Simone De Beauvoir#9

LoveIdentityJealousyRelationshipTrust

About this quote

What does it mean?
The author describes a deep philosophical and personal bond with Sartre that created mutual security and eliminated jealousy.
In plain terms
She and Sartre had a unique bond that made them feel secure and unjealous.
What can you take from it?
Deep mutual understanding fosters security in relationships.

Where it applies

  • romantic relationships
  • friendships
  • conflict resolution

Putting it to work

  • build mutual trust
  • validate each other's identity

Questions to consider

  • What makes you feel secure in love?
  • Can two people truly be irreplaceable?

Another view

It idealizes a specific relationship structure as universally applicable.

More from Simone De Beauvoir

  1. One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion.

    Permalink to quote #8
  2. In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feelin…

    Permalink to quote #10
  3. I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth - and truth rewarded me.

    Permalink to quote #7

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