Quote #23
Before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
More from Stephen Colbert
- Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
- I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.
- It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
- I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I str…
- I teach Sunday School, motherf****r.
- That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? Yo…
- Well, I thought it was funny.
- Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here …